The White Horse

While in Costa Rica in April, I had done a deep dive on suffering for God.  I was intrigued by the way James, 1 and 2 Peter, Romans, and many other books of the Bible talk about how enduring our trials and sufferings produce perseverance, and grow us in our faith.  It is so easy to be joyful in seasons where we can so clearly see the Lord working, but difficult when we’re in a season of affliction or waiting and can’t see His work so clearly.  I wanted to grow in recognizing these trials, and remaining content in every circumstance.  I was reminded that His power is made perfect in my weakness.  As I studied the many trials and tribulations that were endured in the New Testament, I couldn’t even imagine going through these sufferings.  I would sing words in songs such as “I want to be tried by fire, purifier, you take whatever you desire…” and I would stop and ask myself, “What lengths are you really willing to go for the One that sacrificed it all for you?”  I kept asking Him what it would look like to truly suffer for Him, what would I be willing to endure and would I really risk it all?  While in Costa Rica, I had a dream that would sound scary, but yet in it I felt content, I felt comforted and hopeful.  I wrote this poem based off of this dream:

 

The torture I witnessed was agonizing, twenty four hours for each held captive.

 

Twenty four hours I’d sit on the other side of the door, with no choice but to remain inactive.

 

With common knowledge, we knew the suffering would all be worth it.

 

Though in the moment it felt like we were sinking into a deep pit.

 

Each day dragged slowly with anticipation.

 

Knowing our day in the room was coming, we were warned of trials and tribulation.

 

Their goal was power and authority, guns and torture to root fear.

 

But all the verses about suffering shown in my mind crystal clear.

 

“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you”

 

The rooms of torture were set hot, as if they were on fire, this is true.

 

“As though something strange were happening to you”

 

The persecution around us rapidly grew.

 

“But rejoice in as much as you participate in the sufferings of Christ”

 

I remembered that in suffering for Him I should feel enticed.

 

“So that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed.”

 

He reminded me in the suffering to keep taking up my shield.

 

“If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed”

 

Wear the plate of righteousness proudly across your chest.

 

“For the spirit of glory and God rests on you.”

 

Praise Him, without that I wouldn’t make it through.

 

“If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal”

 

But pray and minister to those around you because their knowledge of Me may be minimal.

 

“However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed”

 

Although you might be physically, your faith cannot be restrained.

 

“But praise God that you bear that name.”

 

And in the midst of suffering, that name I will proudly proclaim.

 

 

On the third day of torture I made a brief escape.

 

In the day time I walked quickly, covered by a dark cape.

 

In a herd of brown horses, one white horse caught my eye.

 

Just at the sight of Him I let out a relieving sigh.

 

It was as if he was looking for me…we were looking for each other,

 

So we set to try and find a way out together.

 

I woke up from this dream and it felt highlighted, purposeful.

 

Like a message reminding me to keep my armor on and an eye out for the spiritual.

 

The next day in Revelation I read, “I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True.  With justice he judges and wages war.  His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns.  He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself.  He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God.  The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean.”